I’m going to open this post and go out on a limb and say this: The only human being in history that ever might have had nothing but haters was Jesus Christ if you believe in his divine existence as portrayed in the Bible. That’s it.
Everyone else, we might have some haters here and there but there are people who genuinely disagree with us, and people who genuinely don’t like us because our personalities and lifestyles are not compatible.
I’m not sure when the day came where people equated all disagreement with what they were doing as “hating”. I always thought that haters were people who were jealous of what you have accomplished, obtained or any other attribute that you have that they can’t possess. And since they can’t think of any legitimate reason to dislike you other than the fact that they are jealous of you, they say negative things about you to bring you down to their level.
Not today. Now anybody who doesn’t agree with what you are doing is a hater.
Sure, perhaps as my mother says if you don’t have anything nice to say you shouldn’t say anything (but hell she never followed this bit of advice either) but sometimes, things have to be said.
And we need to be more open to criticism and less defensive, and dismissive of it.
People think I’m a pretty critical person but I guarantee you as hard as you think I am on the world I am twice as hard on myself. I hold myself to pretty high standards I think compared to a lot of people and when I feel that I have screwed up or fallen short of the things I set out to accomplish there is little comfort that can be brought to me until I get right with myself.
And personally I don’t enjoy being criticized but I still listen. I don’t assume everyone who comes to me with a criticism is out to destroy my self esteem or doesn’t want me to achieve my dreams. And maybe they do. But you learn the difference, and heck even if it is malicious still examine it for truth.
Criticism can make you a better person. It can make you realize, damn maybe this outfit isn’t flattering on me. Dang, maybe I don’t take others feelings into account when I should. Maybe I am kind of a reckless drunk.
I can honestly say I’ve had an inflated ego especially during my teen and early college years. But learning to accept criticism has humbled me and made me better. I remember I would think a teacher was a moron if they dared correct anything I wrote because I thought everything I composed was genius. Once I let go of that I improved tenfold. I go back and look at things I wrote back when I was younger and I think, wow that was terrible. I’m glad someone had the heart to tell me that it was terrible because it opened doors for me to become better.
The thing is at the end of the day in order to have haters you need to be doing something worth hating on.
You need to be obtaining some kind of success that is difficult for anyone else to replicate to begin with. If you’re not the likelihood that you’re getting hated on in my mind is pretty low.
I just think overall the promotion of this idea that we can’t have some criticism of each other is another way to spawn weakness. If someone has a well thought out criticism of you, don’t be afraid of it at all. It’s annoying and it might hurt your feelings but in the long run it might guide you in a direction to become really successful by removing a road block you had no idea was there. It might enhance you as a person, or your craft to hear it.
By all means, keep negative people out of your life but don’t reject every criticism as “hating” because you’re afraid to deal with your own shortcomings as a person. And don’t waste your time blaming your failure on haters either.
I think at times people who aren’t doing much of anything try to bolster their importance by making up haters and people with damaged egos can only justify any shortcoming as people hating on them. And that has to stop. It’s not a healthy way to look at the world.
Like I said if you aren’t perfect, you can’t only have haters. Sometimes, it’s just you.